Well, here I am, sitting in front of my laptop at 10:19a.m. blogging instead of studying for an exam I am ever so unprepared for; Some how, it doesn't bother me. Nothing seems to bother me and I don't think it's a good thing. I see myself turning oblivious to the world around me and not batting my eye lid a time extra, for anyone. Whether its something I did to myself, or it's the circumstances that took the better of me and this was the only solution, I cannot really tell. You know that feeling, when the pain as abyss as the valley of darkness-unexpected, unforeseen, that immeasurable, epitomizing pain, takes over your view towards everything? NUMB.
Yes, that's what i feel-numb;to the narrowest passage in my body. It hurts so much yet doesn't hurt at all. A part of me seems to die, for each day that I need to put on that mask of happiness and live in false pretense because the world loves looks that are deceiving. Mine, deceiving them indeed.
As much as it hurts to plaster a smile, it takes an equivalent sum of energy to go on an emotional binge that no one around you wants to see and to top it all, knowing that you are being judged through the entire scenario.
Alone Together. Alone, with no one else in our world yet together with each other. The one sentence that could describe all that it was whilst it was. I loved it, every moment, every second and there is no denying that, there is not a single thing in this world that can remove or tamper with any of those memories. No, not even now. It was something special, something like no other, something so envied, so looked upon with awe by those who longed and those who lost. Now I'm in that line that lost. I guess it wasn't a story of 'Happily ever after' but more of a 'Happy while it lasts'.
I think I can find the parts of me that I lost along the way, revive those bits that are numb, cure the bits that are bleeding and maybe even find new bits to fill in the extra space. I have not lost hope and I am certain of that. This is just my time off to heal..
...to become even brighter than the star I was.
Yes, that's what i feel-numb;to the narrowest passage in my body. It hurts so much yet doesn't hurt at all. A part of me seems to die, for each day that I need to put on that mask of happiness and live in false pretense because the world loves looks that are deceiving. Mine, deceiving them indeed.
As much as it hurts to plaster a smile, it takes an equivalent sum of energy to go on an emotional binge that no one around you wants to see and to top it all, knowing that you are being judged through the entire scenario.
Alone Together. Alone, with no one else in our world yet together with each other. The one sentence that could describe all that it was whilst it was. I loved it, every moment, every second and there is no denying that, there is not a single thing in this world that can remove or tamper with any of those memories. No, not even now. It was something special, something like no other, something so envied, so looked upon with awe by those who longed and those who lost. Now I'm in that line that lost. I guess it wasn't a story of 'Happily ever after' but more of a 'Happy while it lasts'.
I think I can find the parts of me that I lost along the way, revive those bits that are numb, cure the bits that are bleeding and maybe even find new bits to fill in the extra space. I have not lost hope and I am certain of that. This is just my time off to heal..
...to become even brighter than the star I was.
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