It's real

It surprises me how strong I've been. Maybe I do under estimate myself after all. Looking back at my older posts and then looking at my latest one, I realize how much I over came and let go off in the past month. All those things That tore me down while erecting walls of steel around my heart;those things that I thought I could never move past, all seem a murky haze now. A phase maybe I won't forget, but a phase that I have now let go. It would be unfair if I took credit for the whole thing.The place I'm at is comforting as I see myself happy. Not for someone else, not for those around me, but happy for Me. All those wounds have healed and all the scabs are lost. He came along like an rainbow in a storm, just to fix everything. Taught me  how to love again and how to trust. Showed me sides of me I've never seen before and gave me love I've never felt before.
I see the walls crumbling to the ground and I see myself being me again. The cynic in me is lost again and I've never been more glad.
thank you for being the person you are.

Such a Panda, you.

Dream

A little of something is always beautiful. a little love, a little laugh, a little smile and a little mystery.
So what is this? I've never felt this way before and it's beautiful. a feeling of excitement, of mystery and small expectations brewing at the back of my mind as each day passes.it makes me so happy and I feel so protected, yet I'm so scared.
you tell me you love me, everyday.It was too soon the first time? I still think so. You're sure you said. You won't stop until you get what you want.
I've never been so loved before, I've never seen or felt love, you said. The way you look at me gives me butterflies in my tummy and even now I get fidgety each time I see you. 
Waiting everyday for the evening cause I know you would be there waiting just to take me home, like a prince would for a princess. You make me feel like a Princess.
Every evening I'd make you take me to a different place to eat. You never say a word or sneer. You smile and wait for me to finish. you wipe the crumbs off my face and then kiss me on the cheek. I trip and tumble and you catch me before I fall. I wobble your bike like humpty dumpty and you get even that sorted. You look at me when no ones looking and you speak the words I leave un spoken.You say the things I never say. You do all those things for me, that no one has ever done before. And all that at the cost of one smile. I thought I knew myself better than anyone else. Until you came along.
You make my life a fairy tale. With finely drawn outlines and beautiful colours to fill up all the empty spaces. Stars so bright and the sky always clear. With everything so perfect and nothing spilled over. You tell a story when you say nothing at all.
I don't know what this is but you got me falling for it. I know what I'm scared of. I'm scared it would all go away. It seems too good to be true.
How can you love me so much?
Like you know me better than I know myself.
Like you love me more than I love myself.


If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. 

 I feel it.